My history is here and now and I prefer to make it rather than relive someone else’s.

Its 10:10 and I’m sitting in Café Nero in Aberdeen, Scotland. Muffin and latte to my left and sheer bliss upon my heart. Life is truly good. I was really sad and quite unsettled to leave Sweden a few days ago. The day before I left I felt so strange and ridden with anxiety. I think it was anticipation of leaving what had become my home and comfort. Humans are habitual, feeling at ease in routine and the known. Leaving that once again, I felt I was suddenly slung back in time to when I was leaving Arkansas and heading to Sweden 5 months ago. Luckily though, there is improvement with this over time as you continue to travel and move. It becomes less unsettling the more you do it. A friend of mine gave me advice the night before I left. He said the best way to cope is just to go with the flow. Forget expectations and preconceived notions and just roll with it as it comes.

Packing my things was quite a disaster. I decided not to send things home because I thought it would be really expensive (and it would have been). So I decided to only take one big suite case home and carry (my carry on). Flying Ryanair I could only have 10 kilos in my carry and 20 kilos in my big suite case. This is 30 kilos less than what I came with, not to mention all that I’d acquired over the 5 months of being in Sweden.  I was amazed at how hard it was to part with some of my things. I really didn’t want to give any of it up! I took a massive bag full of clothing, shoes, cleaning products, bed sheets etc to the homeless guys who play music on the street everyday. My hopes were that they could give the clothes to their wives or kids, but it turns out they are just two single guys from Guatemala living in their car and playing music to earn enough money to eat. They were probably slightly disappointed with female shoes and skinny jeans, but hopefully they’ll pass on what they can’t use to someone who can.

The last night I was in Jonkoping, myself and three of my friends went around the lake taking pictures and drinking wine. The weather was chilly but sky clear and sunset stunning. It was an evening to remember as we laughed and acted a fool. After getting home, I spent an hour or so writing letters to those on my floor and a couple others who’d become very close to me. I wanted them individually to know how much they’d meant to me because I can be horrible at goodbyes. I went down to the second floor for my last teatime and convo before crashing for the night. I woke early, packed the last of my things, slipped the letters under my friend’s doors, gave a few hugs and exchanged goodbyes and I was off.

The sadness and anticipation vanished when I arrived in Scotland and got to see Susan, a girl I met 6 summers ago at Camp Wah-Nee when we were counselors together. We couldn’t quit cackling for a solid 2 hours. It was so good to see her! It also gave me hope that if we could keep in touch and see each other again after 6 years, I would also reunite with those I met in Sweden someday. We rode the bus into Edinburgh and met one of her friends at his office. He put my bags in his car trunk so we’d be free lugging them up and down the hilly streets. We walked around a bit and ate fish and chips AND a fried Mars bar in the park.  After feeling slightly nauseous and guilty from our indulgence, we went for coffee before arriving at the Frankenstein Pub. They were having a Cèilidh Mhòr, real Scottish dancing like on the movie Titanic where Rose and Jack danced with all the common folk in the lower deck. Susan said they do this kind of dancing at any special event and she had even been in some competitions in school. I had died and gone to heaven. We even did the dance like on the Titanic where you cross arms and then spin in circles accelerating at what feels like an ungodly pace. All I could do was laugh and screech just like Rose in the movie. However, the scene didn’t so graciously change, cutting out just before the post-spinning. My giggles came to an abrupt halt as Susan let go and I went flying backwards, practically knocking over the woman playing the fiddle like a bullet in a china shop. Slightly embarrassed, I played it off as cool as one could. One of her guy friends met up with us and we all three danced the night away. I was so disgusting and ridden with sweat by the end of the night. It was invigorating.

We slept in and in our own time made our way out of the house and set out to find a cozy coffee shop. We went about 30 feet before heading inside this old chic coffee house. We sat there for over an hour just talking, eating and reading the newspaper. When we left we attempted to find this park Susan wanted to show me but ended up going the completely wrong direction and wandering up and down streets and in and out of shops. I love traveling with her because she’s just like me. She doesn’t care to stick to plans, nor cares to really make plans. I enjoy traveling unattached to where I’ll go or what I may see. I don’t care much to see monuments. My history is here and now and I prefer to make it rather than relive someone else’s. I pretend seeing historical things are important to me but if I’m really being honest, they’re not. And it’s probably not to a lot of people, it’s just that we’re made to feel inconsiderate and unintelligent for traveling and not seeing these monuments. When I went to see the Book of Kells at Trinity College in Dublin it was the biggest waste of 9 Euros and the most boring hour of my entire trip. If I find something interesting Ill go see it, if not I cant be bothered.

We bought some salads and caught the train to Glasgow, Susan’s home city and apparently the murder capital of the UK. In Glasgow we walked around and Susan showed me some of her favorite hot spots and places she’s enjoyed going. We met her boyfriend for some pool playing and dinner. He was such a nice guy, a truly rare hospitable gem found less and less often these days. As we all three were walking to the station with 30 minutes to spare, I randomly blurted out, “I feel like I’m missing something.” Susan says, “(Gasp) Your bags!!!” We had left them at her old place of work when we first arrived. We hustled to go get them and hurried back to the station. We had approx 3 minutes when we arrived and Susan couldn’t find the confirmation number to claim our tickets. God blessed her phone and she found the email in record time, printed the tickets and we ran towards the train. My bag got stuck in the small little swingy door things you have to go through before entering the train. I gave my fat friend about 5 tugs with all the might my little body could muster and she finally broke free. Spectators watched and chuckled at my inept struggle.

The train ride was so lovely as we wound up the coast of Scotland to Aberdeen, where Susan currently lives. So green and lush with a mixture of rocky and sandy beaches, many cattle and horse pastures and cute little quaint cottages plunked sporadically here and there. The train ride was about 3.5 hours so we arrived quite late and headed to Susan’s flat with my massive bags in tow, up the most lit street as to avoid an altercation. It became quite apparent I’m not in Sweden anymore where walking down the street late at night was hardly a concern.  

In the morning we set out with the beach in mind. Again, 30 seconds down the road and we found ourselves sitting in a coffee shop chatting over a Chi latte. The jazz music was so relaxing and no definite plans pressing us to leave. There was an International food market going on just down the street with every kind of food and dessert you could dream of. After walking up and down we decided on a massive bag filled with a variety of sweet treats and ostrich burgers. I was far too curious not to try… and the guy serving at the burger tent was way to cute not to stop.

We made it to the station and hopped on a bus headed toward Balmedie beach. I had no idea what to expect but the beach was amazing. There were sand dunes with furry grass growing through them. As we walked up and down the dunes it felt like we were hallucinating.. the blue skies, quiet wind, and the crazy blowing grass blades created a dreamlike illusion. 

We decided to roll down this massive dune like school children.. at the bottom not an inch of my body wasn’t ridden with sand, particularly my largest asset. There was this older man taking pictures atop one of the dunes and I didn’t want to leave without one since neither Susan nor I had a camera. Soooo I marched over and asked him if he wouldn’t mind taking a picture of us and sending it to my email. He was more than willing and it practically turned into a full-fledged photo shoot. Oh the power of appearing like a couple of lesbians.. He ended up being an outstanding photographer and the pictures turned out great!! After that we walked up and down the beach in the sunshine, barefoot and happy to be alive, things couldn’t have been any better.

The Queens Jubilee, a celebration to mark 60 years of reign, was this weekend so all of Scotland was celebrating with events and whatnot. Susan and I took a bus into this small little town called Banchory, where we were to hike Scolty Hill. On our way to the trailhead we stopped at the park where there were lots of people, tents with vendors selling various things and an orchestra playing while people sang songs together. Susan knew all the songs so we stopped while she sang. I spared the crowd and tapped my toe for God bestowed many blessing upon me, however, I believe he was busy with Adele while my vocal chords were developing. After choir time, we hiked up the most beautiful mountain, with 360-degree views of rolling hills and little towns in the valley. We went up in the look out tower perched at the summit and that’s when I realized I have a small fear of heights. Quite quickly down we went. We saw a Legally Blonde Broadway play that evening and it was absolutely marvelous. I was tentative after the Malta Extravaganza experience, but these guys were amazing!

Before leaving for the train station the next morning I decided to experiment with myself. I’ve been slightly “possession absorbed” and kept hearing this voice in my head telling me to leave Susan my favorite top. I realllllly didn’t want to. It looked fantastic on me, my favorite purchase in Sweden, and was really expensive. But I needed to be reminded that things are just things and what is really important in life I have where ever I go, for it lies within me and was given to me free. I recalled when a group of Buddhist monks came to the University of Arkansas and spent a week creating this massive artful masterpiece, a Sand Mandala, using colored sand and these tiny instruments. At the end of the week they dumped the entire thing, destroying what took them hours upon hours to create. From Wikipedia, "A sand mandala is ritualistically destroyed once it has been completed and its accompanying ceremonies and viewing are finished to symbolize the Buddhist doctrinal belief in the transitory nature of material life." It felt great giving my beautiful top away to such a fantastic person and I know Susan will enjoy it as much as I did. I knew my abundance would come back to me in some way, shape, or form. And it did much quicker than I thought.

The Internet wasn’t working the morning Susan and I were to leave for the train station and she had lost her phone on the bus coming home from our hike. Therefore, there was no way we could log into her email to get the confirmation numbers of the tickets or to see what time our train was leaving. Susan gave me her email and password and I headed to stand outside a coffee shop and connect to their Internet. I know I looked like the biggest cheap ass but I was really just in a hurry. I found the email, Susan met me just in time and we were off to catch the train at 6:30am. I had written down the conformation number and closed my computer. When she printed the ticket only one came out. She said, “Oh no. That conformation number was only for one ticket.” I opened my computer and the Internet page was still open. I said a quick prayer and clicked back. Miraculously, the page opened and we were able to see the conformation number in the title of the second email. She typed it in the kiosk and it spit out my ticket. Soon after the Internet page went blank as there wasn’t any connection where we were. Blessing? I’ll say. If we wouldn’t have been able to print the tickets, we would have missed our train, which would have made me miss my flight or we’d have to buy new tickets at a ridiculous price, again costing a lot of money. After arriving in Faro the woman at the shuttle counter worked diligently for 15 minutes to get me on a communal van for 11 Euro as opposed to the 30 Euro taxi ride that would have been my only other option. Things probably wouldn’t have worked out so perfectly had I let my greed stifle the flow and selfishly kept my top. Believe what you want but I think the world works this way. The more you give and value you provide others, the more wealth and abundance you’ll receive. Susan also informed me her phone was turned in and she was able to get it back a few hours after she dropped me off at the station. Good karma for the both of us :) 

Much love and more to come,

L