Peanut Butter and Baseball

Peanut butter and baseball. Two truly American crafts and in my opinion, two of the greatest inventions of all time. For weeks I’d get up, go to the kitchen, throw some toast in the toaster and then slather on a heaping knife full of chunky peanut butter. I always got some strange looks but I didn’t realize the raised eyebrows were directed at my toast topping of choice. They don’t understand it. I don’t understand them not understanding. It tastes so good!! As for baseball.. I played throughout my entire childhood, find it to be the best way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and is my favorite live sporting event. The rest of the world is deprived! 

How is the economy in Sweden? I’d say pretty dang good based on the number of current construction projects going on. Everywhere I go, there is banging, hammering and pounding. There have been a couple of lectures where mid-way through class, pounding of steel beams into the ground will begin. The entire overhead projector shakes as poor Mother Nature is being worked over, one continuous blow after another. Approximately 8 am every morning a loud drilling begins just outside my window. Not even my music can dull the construction site sounds when running around the lake. Which, btw, I ran a little over two miles the other day for the first time since my surgery. The pistons are soon to be back!

My Bulgarian neighbor knocked on the door the other day with a gift. His mother had sent him a few bracelets that are white and red striped. Everyone in Bulgaria wears them during the month of March to signify the beginning of spring. You take them off at the first sight of a stork, or the beginning of April. So sweet, I love it! Maybe our weather bracelets are working because the climate is FINALLY becoming tolerable. The sun has shone the last couple of days and I couldn’t welcome it more. My skin has officially turned a light shade of blue as I’ve lost any tan I might have had coming here. It really is amazing at how much better I feel, and how much more energy I have, on days that are sunny. Last Saturday it was beautiful out so I decided to go on a walk. I walked out of my housing accommodation and turned right. I just kept walking and turned where I felt compelled. It was so much fun!! I was out for probably two hours just walking and discovering areas of Jonkoping that I hadn’t seen. Its fairly hilly here so after a very steep incline I decided to go left into what looked like a park area. It was almost, and I emphasize almost, like being in Central Park. The woods surrounded me and the walking paths seemed endless. 

I came across an Alpaca farm with tons of little baby Alpaca running around. I saw what I thought was a Moose, but now that I look it up, I have no idea what it was. A male something with crazy looking antlers and all of his many female companions.  I found a triple waterfall that was beautiful and the stream wound down the mountain beside the walking path. I can’t imagine what it will look like in a couple of months when things are blooming. 

However, my favorite part was walking through the neighborhoods. At one point I got a woof of what smelled like a grill cooking hamburgers and hot dogs, with the sun shining, and the sound of men working the chainsaw and doing lawn maintenance. It’s amazing when the senses get to work what kind of memories they recall. It completely reminded me of a weekend day with my family, just hanging out, cooking, while all the neighbor kids played outside. Happy times.

I’m kind of doing an experiment. The first week I was here they took us on a tour of Jonkoping. We went to this really sweet, quaint park that was perched at the very highest point of the city with an amazing overlook. It reminded me of the movie The Secret Garden, a film I watched literally hundreds of times as a little girl. I want to find that park again but, here’s the kicker, I want to find it without a map or being told. My goal is to set out every weekend and just walk and explore like I did last Saturday, to hopefully come across this park again. I’ll keep you posted.

The last couple of weeks have been such a whirlwind. I wrote a blog a week ago about love and blah blah but since then, things have completely changed and I’m glad I spared you all. I started out this week feeling so baffled by my continuous struggle in this area of my life. I knew I had two choices. One. I could feel sorry for myself and continue to relapse. Two. Watch a million motivational Youtube videos. I choose the later, and shits working. I watch three or four 5-30 minute videos a day. They range from Earl Nightingale- The Secret to Success; No arms, No legs, No worries; George Carlin- The Earth; Advice to live by, etc.

Focusing your attention in the correct, or most positive producing places, can completely change your life. Your life could be a pile of miserable shit and with an instant shift of thought; you can be living in the most glorious moment. It was brought to my attention, by someone I love and trust very much, that I am always a bit discontent. I kind of knew this about myself, but thought coming to Europe would fix it! Aw hell naw. If you’ve got restlessness in your soul, that bitch isn’t staying home if you’re going to Europe. She’s burying herself deep inside your spirit, lying dormant until you’re convinced she’s gone, only to slowly creep her way back into your life as you settle in to what you thought was a content experience. My mom, and probably my grandmother, always said, “Wherever you go, there you are.” So, my dear friend was so kind to point out this restlessness while I was spewing “but, if this” and “well, if I had that” all over my skype screen. I remembered something I did a few years ago. Its an exercise were you put a rubber band or bracelet on your wrist and anytime you think negatively, whether in your head or out loud, you move the rubber band or bracelet to the other wrist. This trains you to actively notice when you’re going into winey mode and you can stop yourself. New neural pathways are created when thoughts come to mind and you literally train your mind to take the positive route, rather than stomp around in the negative. To prove I'm not full of shit, there’s an article I found written by Janet Callaway called “What do Astronauts & New Habits Have in Common? Here’s a snippet below:

“Back in its early days, NASA designed an experiment to determine the physiological and psychological effect of the spatial disorientation the astronauts would experience in the weightless environment. What NASA did is outfit the potential astronauts with convex goggles, which flipped everything in their field of vision 180 degrees. In other words, their world was turned completely upside down. The potential astronauts were required to wear these special goggles 24 hours a day—even when they were asleep. The scientists then sat back to observe what happened. Initially, according to elevated blood pressure and other vital signs, the potential astronauts suffered from extreme stress and anxiety—hardly surprising since their worlds were upside down. As time went on they gradually adapted to some of the stress though not all of it. On the 26th day, something amazing happened for one of the astronauts. His world turned right-side up again even though he continued to wear the goggles 24 hours a day. From days 26-30, the same thing happened for each of the astronauts; their worlds turned right-side up. What the scientists discovered is that after 26-30 days of this continuous stream of new input—think new habit—the astronauts’ brains created neural connections to “rewire” their brains. What the scientists discovered is the brain needs about 30 uninterrupted days for new neural connections to form. Next time you are ready to develop a new habit, learn a new skill, start a new diet or implement your action plan for success, remember the astronauts. Allow your brain the 30 days for the new neural pathways to be built and keep your commitment to yourself.”

Habits are a muscle that need to be strengthened. Its exciting to know the power to finding unconditional happiness lies in my own ability to keep my focus on the positive things and achieve contentment in my life now, exactly as it is.

One thing I know for sure is that if I can’t be happy in Sweden, as a young, intelligent American female getting an education, with the ability to do as I want, say, and please every morning I wake… I’ll surely end up living a tortured existence.

Much love until next time folks.

L